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I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. Listen - I believe that people are perfectable, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkled lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women. I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Beatles and Marilyn Monroe and Elvis and Mister Ed. It's called "SPI Girls Kick Ass!" It's like Charlies Angels meets The Matrix, and I hope you'll check it out at sillyhatbooks.“I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not.

Speaking of computer games, have you checked out my Kindle Vella offering yet? I teamed up with Red Tash and Kat Bradbury to create a science fiction adventure serial, under the collective pen name of Kaye Elsie. It's called "SPI Girls Kick Ass!" It's like Charlies Angels meets The Matrix, and I hope you'll check it out at /spiĬopyright 2020 E.

Thanks for hanging in there with me on this experimental story, told in an experimental way. I rather liked the effect, and I hope you did, too. So, as you can tell, I employed a text-to-speech converter on the website, "" using the "Alice" personality. When I thought about reading the story to you, I thought it might be difficult to convey the feel of a computer game in my reading. Of course, it's not an interactive story, it's only written in that style. If you haven't experienced this form of interactive fiction before, I hope you still enjoyed this presentation of the medium. When I wrote this story, I had the idea of telling it in the form of an old text-based interactive fiction computer game like, Colossal Cave Adventure, Zork, or Infocom's The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I'll also add a content warning: this story contains a loss of agency.

Rather than spoil it here in the introduction, I'll save my explanation for after the story is done being told. Perhaps some of you will recognize the format.

I was in a rather experimental mood when I wrote it. The story I have for you is another one of my Bradbury Challenge stories. For this episode of the Alien Beer Podcast, I thought I'd do something a bit different.